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During my usual monthly analysis I realized that the changes to the Windows Updates MS announced a couple of months ago are not so simple that it would be enough to just install the monthly update. It would require a whole new investigation of the problem again - which is just too much effort for me. If anybody has (more) insights, don't hesitate to drop me a note (see Contact section at the end of the page).

It looks like we can't get around July 2016 Rollup (KB3172605) anymore. But be warned: This particular update might break the system's Bluetooth stack if you have Intel Bluetooth hardware. Maybe the BT stack always breaks when the update is installed, maybe it does only in some cases - I don't know. And I can't make any tests because I don't have any Intel BT hardware. Users of such hardware can try the updated BT driver Intel published some time ago; there are reports that it may fix the issues. Furthermore, there's a support article from Intel that was updated recently.

Due to the changes in October 2016 I'm going to list the monthly updates for Win7 instead, so you can decide if you want to install the Security Only update or the full Monthly Rollup.

For the sake of completeness here's the page from September (including the usual links to previous months).

Validity/Coverage

Valid as of: Oct 2016 (2016-10-11)
Valid until: Until MS breaks something again
Note: The above dates only refer to the "speedup" update, the "magic" patch, not the whole page!

This HowTo is valid for Win7 SP1, which have been newly installed or haven't been updated for some time. It should also help on systems that were up-to-date last month.

These instructions were only tested on Win7 SP1. Due to the changes to the Windows Updates I can't make any more statements about Vista SP2; I just don't have the time to include Vista in my tests, even less since Vista will be out of support in April 2017.

Solution to the issue

The term "solution" might be a little bit exaggerated, since the following HowTo only tries to make sure that the Update Agent doesn't need to check all updates, so the check for new updates is done faster.

Install the following updates BEFORE letting Windows search for updates, to avoid this very search taking "forever".

It's sufficient to install one of the Servicing Stack Updates. The current version is highlighted in bold.
Important: One of the Servicing Stack Updates is required before July 2016 Rollup can be installed!
KB Win7 x64 Win7 x86 Win8.1 x64 Win8.1 x86
KB3020369 Servicing Stack Update April 2015 Download Download - -
KB3021910 Servicing Stack Update April 2015 - - Download Download
KB3177467
Servicing Stack Update September 2016 Download Download - -
KB3173424
Servicing Stack Update July 2016 - - Download Download
KB3172605
July 2016 Rollup Download
Direct link September 2016
Download
Direct link September 2016
- -
KB3172614
July 2016 Rollup - - Download Download
Maybe you wonder why July 2016 Rollup. The answer is simple: This particular update contains a more recent (as far as I know the latest) version of the Update Agent. With this update the time needed to search for new updates is reasonable, almost regardless of the updates installed on the system; the search times vary, of course, but not as ridiculously much as without July 2016 Rollup.

Monthly updates

KB Win7 x64 Win7 x86
KB3192391 Security Only Download Download
KB3185330 Monthly Rollup Download Download

Vista

Since there is neither a Servicing Stack Update nor a Rollup for Windows Vista, the differences between Win7 and Vista are going to increase, starting in October 2016. So I can't make any more recommendations for this OS. Nonetheless I'll list those updates for Vista that will most likely speed up the search, limited to new updates (you can find the old ones on the pages of previous months).

Vista users may try the following updates:
KB Vista x64 Vista x86
KB3191203 Download Download
KB3183431 Download Download
If none of them helps to speed up the search, you might find some "speedup" update in the Security Bulletin Summaries for the current month; so far it's often been an update for the Windows Kernel (win32k.sys).

Steps to take after Windows installation

Some automation

To ease the pain of installing multiple systems you can use e.g. this script which is updated regularly. Put the script and all updates in the same directory - a USB flash drive or network share may be a good place. The script determines the Windows version (Vista or Win7), its architecture (32 or 64 bit) and so on. It makes use of the command given above. Just double-click the script - after you've disabled automatic updates (see above) - and it installs all required updates automatically, including the latest Windows Update Agent (if present). Reboot the system after the script is finished, and you're done. Re-enable automatic updates as needed.

If you intend to install Windows Updates on a whole network of systems, it's probably better to use some dedicated solution for this, e.g. WSUS Offline Update, which already installs the prerequisites in current releases.

Misc

If you are curious why the search for updates takes such a long time, check out the background information.

Thanks to T. Wittrock, author of WSUS Offline Update, Denniss and the community.

Contact

You can reach me via the following forums:
Regards
Dalai
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